so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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