My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
