My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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