I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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