That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
