Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
