so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
