I met the friendliest cop last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Randomize
