no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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