Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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