): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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