It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
