At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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