then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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