sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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