90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
