We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
