omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize