11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
