Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
