I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
