exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
