i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
