thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I love you. Go after that dick
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
