Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
