i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
