is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
