He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
