you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
