why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
