did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
