Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize