Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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