shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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