dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
