I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
