Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
