I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
