What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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