Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
