i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When did we convert life to cartoon?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
