normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize