like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
