I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize
