Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
