No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
