And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
