you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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