I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
