just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
