Dignity is for republicans.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize