My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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