I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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