brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
