What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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