wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
