if you like me you must not know who I am
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
