do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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