There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
