My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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