the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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