Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
