i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
