ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
