Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
