I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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