I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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