we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
