I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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