Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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