1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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