So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
