part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
